Theodore Orenstein

Overcoming Insecurity, Jealousy, and Anger

Do you often feel fearful, insecure, jealous, or angry? Of course, everyone does from time to time. Those negative emotions or impulses can overwhelm you, taking over both your mind and body. 

Why are they so powerful? Your ego has been developed over the years through painful and happy experiences. Feelings of insecurity, jealousy, fear, and other harmful, knee-jerk emotional reactions build up within you because of those wrongs you’ve experienced. Those defenses are so ingrained within you that you do not see them — you do not even realize they exist.

As I encounter the problems and frustrations of day-to-day life, it’s easy to forget the universal love I have learned from spiritual enlightenment. I impulsively get impatient and angry when my buttons are pushed, which leads me to mistreat others. How do you avoid this? Here are five tips that have helped me keep these unhealthy emotions from taking over. 

1. Don’t Let Your Initial Reaction Overwhelm You

By acting out of anger, jealousy or hatred, you are indulging your need for immediate satisfaction. You have lived long enough to know that anger only begets anger in return. What good will that do you? Yet you’re often unable to stop yourself. Looking at it in terms of your own self-interest, what benefits you more: Increasing an adversary’s anger at you or having them respect you?

The harm that comes from other people can only harm you if you let it. If you see that it comes from pain within them, you can only pity them and not be hurt. If you let your kindness – your empathy – come forth, you will try to help them in a kind and loving manner. 

If someone hates you, that is their problem. Don’t make it your problem, too. Be patient and friendly with everyone. Don’t let the base, impulsive, animalistic part of you defeat your true good nature. Be true to yourself. Choose to be happy and content.

2. Do Not Look Down Upon People

Do not look down upon people who practice things that seem ignorant or stupid. Listen to them and seek to learn from them. You may discover something that will help you in life. Don’t spend your time and effort denouncing other people’s faults. Spend your time and effort correcting your own.

Relish in the beauty of the different paths that others have taken. Share your experiences with others, and seek to learn of the common aspects of your paths. That is where you will find love and spiritual enlightenment.

3. Be Happy With What You Have

It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself, but don’t fall into that trap. Consider the history of people who have lost their limbs, sight, or movement. See how they have modified their life to become just as happy and fulfilled as before their misfortune. Many of them become even more content. 

Look no further than the life of Stephen Hawking, the astrophysicist who wrote A Brief History of Time. Who could have lived a fuller and more meaningful life than that man who lived in a wheelchair and could not speak or even gesture?

Don’t be a victim of events. You are in control of your own life. Whatever is thrown at you in life, make the most of it.

Think of it this way: Life on earth is a school through which we human souls learn gradually to become wise, transcendent, blissful and eternal. Learn from all events, both good and bad.

4. Let Your Spirit Shine

Your spirit is what connects you with others. Allowing it to shine will reveal your life’s purpose and bring you contentment and happiness. You will see beyond your fears, jealousies, and lusts.

How do you find the spirit within you? By looking into your own heart, not outward to the heavens. Within yourself is a profound spiritual commonality with all people; through that path, you will find spiritual awakening. We know it as love.

You get to that spiritual place by opening yourself up. When you become open, you make yourself receptive to revelation. That revelation can often come out of despair — hence the saying, “it is darkest before the dawn.” Through meditation, you can train yourself to open up to your inner spirit and receive revelation without the necessity of deep trauma.

When you escape from day-to-day living and open yourself up, you will receive inspiration, epiphanies, and, eventually, mind-blowing revelations. Through that higher consciousness, you will see the true essence of everything and everyone. You will, for the first time, understand the true meaning of the things that you may have been hearing for years. You will appreciate the true essence of yourself and other people.

5. Meditation Helps You Overcome These Emotions

Practicing meditation is how you can learn to achieve these goals. It prepares you to be fully aware of every present moment, just as it is. Everything is in the moment. Your memories of the past are faulty, and the future has not yet happened. All you have is this moment. If you take care of this moment, every moment as it comes, the years will take care of themselves. 

Meditation will make you open to and aware of every moment. Meditation opens you to complete awareness of the moment. In my upcoming book, Awaken Your Soul, I explain how to meditate and achieve spiritual enlightenment.

It’s a practice that has changed my life, and I look forward to sharing that journey with others. 

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